The book is available as both a soft cover book ($44.95) and an eBook ($14.95). You can buy the soft cover through Blurb - http://bit.ly/manbook or the eBook from The Perfect Gift for a Man website - http://bit.ly/manebook.
All the profits from the book are being donated to The Inspire Foundation, so please buy the book for yourself or some close to you.
It’s 10:45 PM on a Monday night. I just finished wiping down the bench tops in the kitchen after scooping myself of the couch. Had a relaxing night after a bit of a hectic Monday.
Amongst the usual daily grind of a Monday, I had set about trying to redesign the work space that I have in the house. Working from home has presented several (okay thousands) of logistical challenges, and I figured now is as good a time as any.
Between the meetings and emails today I set about researching different options for desks, monitor setups, cable management, draws, etc, etc, etc…
Whilst sitting at my laptop around 5:30 PM I looked over and saw my 2 kids sitting having dinner. My son (almost 2 and a half) was eating spinach pie (yes I liked Popeye as a kid) and my wife was feeding our 7 month old daughter.
Now just picture it for a minute. I am fortunate enough to work from home and to be around for dinner time with the kids at 5:30- most people are still fighting off the last few emails at that time. I was so engrossed in all of these options for a new office setup and the endless list of toys that I could purchase, I was missing what was staring me in the face.
Two beautiful kids and a lovely wife in an amazing home.
I doubt I am alone on this one.
How long has it been since you stopped for even just a few seconds and thought about what you have and what is really important. Is the latest gadget the most import ant thing (I am a gadget freak so this would normally be a tough one for me), or is it family. If you even needed to think about that then you really need to THINK ABOUT THAT.
After you read this, take just 5 minutes to figure out what is really important in your life. Friends, family, pets, your health…whatever it is just make sure you know what’s really important to you.
I have finally decided to take the plunge and have signed up for Google Apps to host my corporate mail. This is not something that I expected to do, and until know had been taking the ‘cheapskate’ route and running my mail through an existing hosting account that I have for other domains (including this blog).
Having used Gmail since I wrangled an invite from a friend working in Silicon Valley when it first launched, I have been an instant fan. The unlimited storage coupled with the search feature just blew me away (although now I am on a Mac, OS X search rocks).
I must say that I am just as impressed with the corporate version of Gmail thus far. My migration was simple and
There are a few reasons that I made the switch:
- Additional Backup- having my email stored both locally and in the cloud is yet another safeguard for me. Since having kids and accumulating massive amounts of digital photos and video, backup has become an extremely important issue for me. Knowing how easily things can get lost, stolen or fried (we had a power surge in the house but our data survived- the plasma TV didn’t), I use both local and off-site backup through Carbonite.
- Reliability- although there have been some well publicised outages recently, I am much more confident in Google’s ability to scale and manage storage than my current hosting provider.
- Storage- not having to worry about how much email I accumulate over the years on my personal account has meant that I just don’t delete things. I just archive it and then it is there whenever I need it. When writing this post I actually went back to my very first email ever sent in Gmail quickly and easily.
With all the rush to create a social media policy for an organisation, often the simple approach is often the best.
A recent post over on the FreshNetworks blog gives some good points about how to write a social media policy. If you are in the process of compiling a policy for your organisation (and you should), then it’s worth having a look at- How to write your firm’s social media policy
For those that haven’t followed the story, this is a great example of using social media and a bit of creativity to get your point across.
Dave Carroll and his mates from the Sons of Maxwell band were on their way to Nebraska to perform. To cut a long story short, the baggage handlers on their flight from Chicago decided to throw the bands guitars across the tarmac causing major damage to the instrument. After much frustration trying to get through to someone to fix the issue he turned to his music prowess and made a song/ video on put it up on YouTube. The song and his official response to United Airlines is below and you can read the full post on their blog here.
I am writing the post for several reasons, not the least of which is to help with Man Week and to hopefully inspire others so think along the same lines.
After writing my first man week post about ‘Becoming a Dad and more of a Man’ I realised that I had not only shared a great part of my life with others, but I had missed a large stone in the path of my life and one that perhaps had the greatest impact on my life and the relationship I have with my lovely wife Simone. This story was party inspired by Scott Drummond’s beautiful post for Man Week about loosing his mother to Multiple Sclerosis.
My wife’s mother has suffered from MS since Simone was born over 32 years ago, and is now primarily wheelchair bound for mobility, but has not lost any of her fight or tenacity, an attribute I am glad her daughter has.
This story starts about 4 years ago when we had been married for about two and a half years, and were getting ready to sell our apartment and move into a house we had recently purchased. Like many families making such a move it was a little daunting, but being our third property purchase, we knew a little more of what to expect. We were putting the final touches to the apartment for the last week of inspections, doing everything possible to ensure a great sale price come auction night. Typically we had ‘stretched’ our budget when buying our new house so anything and everything we could do would help.
It was at this time that Simone noticed a strange tingling in her left side, primarily in her hand and foot. She described it as basically pins and needles. I simply said that she probably slept on her side that night and that it would disappear reasonably quickly. A day went by and still the feeling was there, and in getting more painful by the day. We quizzed my father on the symptoms, being a pharmacist we thought he might have a logical answer for it, but there was nothing he could think of. We thought it best to see the local GP in the hope that again it would be something simple and a quick pill and some bed rest would get rid of it.
The GP wanted to run some blood tests to get a better idea of what was happening. The results showed particular elevated levels that often indicate the body is trying to fight off something, but didn’t pinpoint anything. As the pain seemed to be nerve based and with the history of MS in the family, we were referred to a neurologist for further testing.
Just the mention of MS and a neurologist scared the crap out of me. We were both stressed enough with the upcoming auction of the apartment and the hassles with the vendor of our new place that this made those problems seem like a walk in the park.
I can clearly remember walking into the neurologist office with Simone. It was a typical doctors waiting room- the old copies of Time Magazine and National Geographic together with the kids toys in the corner in a vain attempt to keep young ones occupied. The neurologist ran some standard motor neuron and pin prick tests and had a lengthy discussion with Simone about her family history and the recent symptoms. She concluded that the issue warranted further investigation and referred Simone to get an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scan of her brain and spine.
All I remember is Simone telling my how scary the scan was as they make you lie totally still for about 20 mins and the scanner is painfully loud as it goes over the body. We waited about an hour for the scans to be developed and went home hoping all would be okay. Although told not to, we opened the scans to try and look to see if we could notice anything out of the ordinary. We had no idea what we were looking for, and simply had to wait until the next appointment.
I can still remember the exact route we took together walking from the car park, through the still open David Jones whilst the new Westfield was being constructed at Bondi Junction, and out the the lane to enter the doctors building. We we holding each others hands so tightly and I was clutching the large envelope with the scans hoping that the bad dream would be just that- a dream. The scans were popped up on the bright screen in the doctors office and she studied them intensely whilst we simply sat there powerless to change whatever the outcome was going to be.
She put her pen down and began to explain the the reasonably predominant while legion on the lower area of my wife’s brain was refereed to as demyelination. Put simply it is when the protective layer around nerves is lost. Multiple occurrences of this is very basically what Multiple Sclerosis is. Simone and I held it together just enough to leave the doctors office without bursting into tears. The following days included several more visits culminating in the neurologists recommendation that Simone be put on Cortisone injections in hospital to help with the pain.
This was were things really got tough for us. It was the day our apartment was going for auction and Simone was checking into hospital at Randwick. She had never been in hospital before and it was all rather scary. To totally make it even tougher, we had to keep the news from her mother as she was in the process of moving into a nursing home to get more dedicated help with her MS.
I am the type of person that absolutely hates surprises. I like to know what is happening and when, and if I even get a whiff of something, I will usually stop at nothing to get the full story. You can imagine how I was in this situation with Simone. Not knowing what was happening, what the next day would bring and how our lives might be turned upside down from this event. Trying my best to ‘act’ like a man I bottled all my feelings up and made sure that I didn’t let Simone know how shit scared I was. I remember holding her hand in the hospital is she lay on her side to get a lumber puncture. Having had one myself several years earlier I knew what she was going through as I still rate it the single most painful thing I have ever experienced.
The rest of that day was filled with so much stress that I can’t even remember how I got through it. A family friend acting as our solicitor had to draft up a power of attorney for me to sign on Simone’s behalf at the auction that night. He even drove to the hospital on his lunch break so Simone could sign the papers. I had to put on a brave face as no other family or friends knew what was happening. I simply said she wasn’t feeling very well and stayed at home for the auction. As soon as it was sold and the papers were signed, I jumped in the car and headed for the hospital. I remember sitting in one of those old plastic chairs in the share room the Simone had holding her hand whilst we watched of all things the premier episode of House on TV.
A few days later and Simone discharged herself from hospital knowing that it was simply bed rest that she needed. Her business was put on hold as she couldn’t do her shows as a children’s performer with her condition. Things did slowly improve, and the follow up scan basically showed no sign of the legion that was there earlier. We decided not to pursue harsher treatments as they are know to have effect for women hoping to have children. To this day Simone still has the tingling sensations in her had and foot, but to much lesser a degree. Four years later and we have two beautiful kids and couldn’t be happier.
Being a man is not about being macho or leading the charge through every problem that you encounter. It is simply about being human and in the case of relationships, being a friend just as much as being a man and a husband. An experience like these not only test us but they shape us. They shape who we are and influence why we make the decisions we do.
When I first heard that I was going to be a dad I was in New York. I had just arrived after a 20 hour flight from Sydney to meet my wife who had been traveling on business.Earlier that day she had decided to get a pregnancy test kit from a pharmacy in New York. Not knowing where to look in the store, she approached a very large female African American shop assistant to ask for help. After the woman calmed down from her surprise at meeting an Australian, she promptly shouted across the store- ‘Hey- this Aussie needs a pregnancy test’!!!
After enjoying an amazing holiday, we arrived back in Sydney and I got down to the business of doing what a Man does when he finds out he is going to be a dad- I cried like a little girl. Yeah that’s right- I waited until I had some private time and just had a good cry. I am not sure why, but it just seemed like the thing to do, and brought me back to earth a little for the realisation that being a father was going to be filled with highs and lows.
Simone’s pregnancy was as they say reasonably text book. There was no morning sickness and all the scans were on target for a healthy birth. We decided not to find out the gender as a friend put it- “it’s the only true surprise you will ever get”.
When the big day finally came it was not at all what we expected.
We had done a few courses during the pregnancy and were hoping for as natural a labour as possible. As a man you can try to help as much as possible on the day, but it is just gut wrenching to watch the person you love be in so much pain and know there is nothing you can really do to minimise it, apart from be there for support. Coming up to 18 hours after her waters first broke, they informed us that the best solution would be a Caesar due to the position of the baby and how tired my wife was. This is the part that really tests you as a man, when you realise that now there is even less that you have control over.
15 minutes later we were in the operating room and about another 20 mins and our little boy Liam was born.
As he had been stuck in the birth canal he came out with a real cone shaped head which is very common and disappears within the first few hours. The really scary part was that he wasn’t breathing when he first came out and needed a little help and some oxygen before he was breathing on his own.
With all of the commotion of becoming a father and worrying if I was getting the good shot with the video camera in one hand and digital camera in the other, no one really told me how serious a situation it could have been. Once out of the operating room, I was informed that he would be taken up to special care for observation and some further testing.
This was the point when the hundreds of terrifying thoughts go through your head. You think back to every episode of RPA you have ever seen, every terrible story you have ever heard and all the terrifying scenarios that you came across when you were doing research during the pregnancy. And it all hits you like a tone of bricks.
I remember rushing into the small locker room to change out of the scrubs and back to my cloths so I could get up to the special care unit to be with Liam. Seeing him in that huge trolley (actually just a normal size one) and being so small there was nothing but cables and tubes all around him and nurses telling me it was totally fine and not to worry. Reassuring words for a time when I hardly felt like a man at all. Only hours ago I was watching my wife in incredible pain knowing there was nothing that I could do, and now I was looking at my son not even an hour old and already I was helpless. I was at the mercy of the nurses and pediatrician to tell me what was going on.
The hardest part was watching them place a feeding tube up his nose and down his throat to get some food into him. Simone was still in recovery at this time and they knew that breast feeding could take a few days to kick in.
Later in the day he was showing very good signs of progress and was released from the special care unit and was in our room for the first night. The rest of the week was trying as it is for many new parents, but much more along the normal lines than the first day.
Becoming a father is the single most amazing thing I have ever done (actually done twice). From the dirty nappies to the middle of the night feeds and endless rocking of the bassinet, it’s all worth it when you see their smiles and they first call you dad. When you go into their rooms to check on them before you go to sleep, to hugging them when they hurt themselves, there is nothing that comes even close.
The announcement of an impending pregnancy and the birth itself so often focuses on the mother, that many men think that it will not be as crazy a ride for them. Some prepare for it in different ways (like researching every online review of every pram available) whilst others enjoy putting their head in the proverbial sand. All I can say to other would be dads out there is be ready for an emotional roller coaster for both yourself and your partner, and most of all being a man is often more about doing and feeling unmanly things that you might think.
We have all experienced it. The lazy shop attendant, the rude waiter, the shopkeeper that just doesn’t think his business even needs customers.
Our experience with these people and businesses often leave a lasting impression for a variety of reasons. In some cases we actually made a purchase from said business either out of necessity or the need to keep one’s sanity whilst the kids are screaming all the way through Westfield.
What often does not leave a lasting impression for us is when we have a positive customer service experience either pre, during or post purchase. Is this because we have come to expect a level of mediocrity in service that we only care to remember the disastrous and not the pleasant and helpful?
My recent experience in needing to purchase a new television (my beloved plasma died in a power surge) is not only a poster-child for the negative above, but a shining example for the positive.
Like many tech lovers out there, I relish the opportunity to purchase a new item and enjoy researching the various options available as well as digesting all manner of opinions and reviews. Having a short period of time to do my research when our TV departed this world, I went straight to the review blogs and hit up friends on Twitter for all manner of recommendations.
Within a few hours I had read all the reviews I could handle, and the tweets were coming in thick and fast recommending particular brands and answering the eternal question of Plasma vs. LCD (I went for Plasma).
Armed with the latest product knowledge from reviews and recommendations, I headed up to the Local Westfield to see what the local retailers had and if there were any decent specials. I visited David Jones, Myers, Harvey Norman, Dick Smith, Bing Lee and JB HiFi- this is where things got interesting.
Only 2 of the retailers even had staff interested in talking to customers, and of those only one was helpful. This ended up being on of the most positive buying experiences. The sales rep at JB HiFi was incredibly knowledgeable and honest (a rear quality). He mentioned reviews on blogs that I had read, and swayed me away from a more expensive product as it’s advantages were not worth the cost. I ended up receiving a good price for the unit and made the purchase on the spot.
Such a positive experience can leave a lasting impression on a consumer for years to come and cement the foundations of a positive and ongoing relationship with the brand. Additionally what many organisations, big and small, fail to understand is that one happy customer is worth a hundred more if they talk about their experience (the same is also true for the negative- with negative consequences).
In an age where conversation happens at the speed of light, and positive and negative experiences and feeling are shot around Twitter in an instant, organisations must pull out the proverbial finger to make sure that their customer service and overall customer experience is not just satisfactory but extraordinary.
