Well it’s nearly 12 months since I braved the market, through caution to the wind and decided to start working for myself.

Like many in a similar situation, I went through the roller coaster of emotions. One day it would be the best decision you have ever made, the next- career suicide! Add in the fact that we had our second child on the way in 2 weeks, and things start to get really interesting. There has definitely been no shortage of advice nor a shortage of people to give it. Most has been incredibly useful, with the odd piece of ‘my god what were you thinking’.

Raz Chorev sent through this article from the Wall Street Journal- How to Succeed in the Age of Going Solo. There is some excellent advice in the article, from getting your own work space to joining business networks.

Probably the one thing that was missing from the article was a very simple piece of advice- don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sound’s simple, but when you decide to go it alone, it is often a hard (or even embarrassing) thing to admit and ask for. Start with people in your own network. You will be surprised at how wiling many are to lend a helping hand, or refer you to a professional resource that they might be using.

For me is was the financial and administrative side of the business that was taking a lot of my time. Perhaps the fact that I failed accounting first time around at university was a sign of things to come! First thing I did was chat to my accountant- Mr TaxMan (yes that’s his alter ego and you guessed it- phone number 1800-Tax-Man, gotta love him just for that).

Next was to reach out to friends on Twitter asking for sites/ software that people would recommend to help manage quoting/ invoicing. Many recommended Zoho Invoices, and I am extremely happy with it. Lets me do all my quoting and invoicing online, as well as managing reminders for late payers.

There are hundreds of other situations that you can get help for, and entire industries are popping up to service these exact needs. Virtual office space, desk shares, virtual assistants, time management and copywriting- the list goes on.

For all those that have taken the plunge and are going at it on their own, just remember that you don’t need to do it all alone. The sooner you can identify your own weaknesses, the sooner you can get on with the job of building a successful business.

The year did not start off the best by any stretch of the imagination. I had a regular meeting with a manager and his first words (first day back) were ‘your position has been made redundant’. For anyone else that has ever been in this position you will know what I mean when I say that it is like the world stands still and you are looking back at yourself. The sheer shock of the statement, coupled with the timing was the timing, was a real head spinner.

To give a little more perspective to my situation at the time, I had just taken our business unit through an audit process that had taken me the better part of 2 months to prepare for. We passed with flying colours just prior to the Christmas break. There was also the rather large issue of our second baby on the was in 3 months, and facing a situation with 2 parents not working was a scary fact.

At some point several weeks later I made the decision to start my own business within the research industry. It is something I probably jumped into a lot quicker that I should have, but from what everyone says it’s the only was to do it. Had I not, I would still be contemplating things. Setting up a company and having a second child in the same few weeks is not really something that I would recommend to most, but it was just another step in a wild ride for 2009.

In March we were greeted with our lovely baby daughter with a smile that just lights up a room. Even when I was sitting up for nights on end figuring how I would pay the bills (and I still do at times), her smile at those night feeds and early morning wake ups would make it all worthwhile.

Towards the middle of the year things started to settle down with Demi sleeping better and the business taking on that magical second and then third client. It is amazing what a different feeling it is when you have more than one client, you go from a virtual employee to a business.

The support that I received from family and friends throughout the year has been without a doubt a life saver. The other groups that have been an amazing source of motivation and inspiration have been the people who attend the @CoffeeMornings. I started attending only this year, and have met such a vast array of people that have really helped replace an office social environment that I miss.

It was at this meet up that Gavin Heaton (better know as the Servant of Chaos) asked me to participate in the Man Week campaign being conducted by Triple J and the Inspire Foundation to help men talk about their feelings and to combat issues faced by young male- specifically depression and suicide. I started with this post, and then a second post for the Man Week campaign, and ended up culminating in The Perfect Gift for a Man book.

If you asked me at the beginning of 2009 if I thought I would have my own company and have contributed to a book to help change peoples lives, I would have told you to switch to decaf.

It has been extremely hard work with the business in the first year, but is has also been incredibly rewarding. Having control over my environment and knowing that when I work harder I seen the fruits of my labour, is a very satisfying thing. Instantly becoming the Director, Sale Manager, Marketing Manager, IT Manage, HR Manager, CTO, CFO and Receptionist is a bit of a culture shock as well.

So now I am sitting on the couch at what is almost the end of a VERY interesting year. New child, new business, new life and more. It all started with bad news at the beginning of the year and has ballooned into nothing but positive energy.

Ask you self- if the same thing would happen to you next year, what would you make of it?

Kevin Purdy over at Life Hacker has put together a great list of downloads and tips for those of us who are out and about with our laptops more than most. There are apps for both PC and Mac, and I highly recommend taking a look.

If you are anything like me, you are always looking for another tip and trick to make working remotely just that more enjoyable.

Check out the article at- Top 10 Downloads For A Road Warrior Laptop

The Perfect Gift for a Man book – interview on Mornings With Kerri-Anne from Tony Hollingsworth on Vimeo.

Following on from some of my previous posts for #Manweek Becoming a Dad and more of a Man and Dealing with the Unexpected. Gavin Heaton and Mark Pollard worked together with myself and around 30 other bloggers to launch The Perfect Gift for a Man – 30 Stories about Reinventing Manhood.

The book is available as both a soft cover book ($44.95) and an eBook ($14.95). You can buy the soft cover through Blurb - http://bit.ly/manbook or the eBook from The Perfect Gift for a Man website - http://bit.ly/manebook.

All the profits from the book are being donated to The Inspire Foundation, so please buy the book for yourself or some close to you.

It’s 10:45 PM on a Monday night. I just finished wiping down the bench tops in the kitchen after scooping myself of the couch. Had a relaxing night after a bit of a hectic Monday.

Amongst the usual daily grind of a Monday, I had set about trying to redesign the work space that I have in the house. Working from home has presented several (okay thousands) of logistical challenges, and I figured now is as good a time as any.

Between the meetings and emails today I set about researching different options for desks, monitor setups, cable management, draws, etc, etc, etc…

Whilst sitting at my laptop around 5:30 PM I looked over and saw my 2 kids sitting having dinner. My son (almost 2 and a half) was eating spinach pie (yes I liked Popeye as a kid) and my wife was feeding our 7 month old daughter.

Now just picture it for a minute. I am fortunate enough to work from home and to be around for dinner time with the kids at 5:30- most people are still fighting off the last few emails at that time. I was so engrossed in all of these options for a new office setup and the endless list of toys that I could purchase, I was missing what was staring me in the face.

Two beautiful kids and a lovely wife in an amazing home.

I doubt I am alone on this one.

How long has it been since you stopped for even just a few seconds and thought about what you have and what is really important. Is the latest gadget the most import ant thing (I am a gadget freak so this would normally be a tough one for me), or is it family. If you even needed to think about that then you really need to THINK ABOUT THAT.

After you read this, take just 5 minutes to figure out what is really important in your life. Friends, family, pets, your health…whatever it is just make sure you know what’s really important to you.

I am writing the post for several reasons, not the least of which is to help with Man Week and to hopefully inspire others so think along the same lines.

After writing my first man week post about ‘Becoming a Dad and more of a Man’ I realised that I had not only shared a great part of my life with others, but I had missed a large stone in the path of my life and one that perhaps had the greatest impact on my life and the relationship I have with my lovely wife Simone. This story was party inspired by Scott Drummond’s beautiful post for Man Week about loosing his mother to Multiple Sclerosis.

My wife’s mother has suffered from MS since Simone was born over 32 years ago, and is now primarily wheelchair bound for mobility, but has not lost any of her fight or tenacity, an attribute I am glad her daughter has.

This story starts about 4 years ago when we had been married for about two and a half years, and were getting ready to sell our apartment and move into a house we had recently purchased. Like many families making such a move it was a little daunting, but being our third property purchase, we knew a little more of what to expect. We were putting the final touches to the apartment for the last week of inspections, doing everything possible to ensure a great sale price come auction night. Typically we had ‘stretched’ our budget when buying our new house so anything and everything we could do would help.

It was at this time that Simone noticed a strange tingling in her left side, primarily in her hand and foot. She described it as basically pins and needles. I simply said that she probably slept on her side that night and that it would disappear reasonably quickly. A day went by and still the feeling was there, and in getting more painful by the day. We quizzed my father on the symptoms, being a pharmacist we thought he might have a logical answer for it, but there was nothing he could think of. We thought it best to see the local GP in the hope that again it would be something simple and a quick pill and some bed rest would get rid of it.

The GP wanted to run some blood tests to get a better idea of what was happening. The results showed particular elevated levels that often indicate the body is trying to fight off something, but didn’t pinpoint anything. As the pain seemed to be nerve based and with the history of MS in the family, we were referred to a neurologist for further testing.

Just the mention of MS and a neurologist scared the crap out of me. We were both stressed enough with the upcoming auction of the apartment and the hassles with the vendor of our new place that this made those problems seem like a walk in the park.

I can clearly remember walking into the neurologist office with Simone. It was a typical doctors waiting room- the old copies of Time Magazine and National Geographic together with the kids toys in the corner in a vain attempt to keep young ones occupied. The neurologist ran some standard motor neuron and pin prick tests and had a lengthy discussion with Simone about her family history and the recent symptoms. She concluded that the issue warranted further investigation and referred Simone to get an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scan of her brain and spine.

All I remember is Simone telling my how scary the scan was as they make you lie totally still for about 20 mins and the scanner is painfully loud as it goes over the body. We waited about an hour for the scans to be developed and went home hoping all would be okay. Although told not to, we opened the scans to try and look to see if we could notice anything out of the ordinary. We had no idea what we were looking for, and simply had to wait until the next appointment.

I can still remember the exact route we took together walking from the car park, through the still open David Jones whilst the new Westfield was being constructed at Bondi Junction, and out the the lane to enter the doctors building. We we holding each others hands so tightly and I was clutching the large envelope with the scans hoping that the bad dream would be just that- a dream. The scans were popped up on the bright screen in the doctors office and she studied them intensely whilst we simply sat there powerless to change whatever the outcome was going to be.

She put her pen down and began to explain the the reasonably predominant while legion on the lower area of my wife’s brain was refereed to as demyelination. Put simply it is when the protective layer around nerves is lost. Multiple occurrences of this is very basically what Multiple Sclerosis is. Simone and I held it together just enough to leave the doctors office without bursting into tears. The following days included several more visits culminating in the neurologists recommendation that Simone be put on Cortisone injections in hospital to help with the pain.

This was were things really got tough for us. It was the day our apartment was going for auction and Simone was checking into hospital at Randwick. She had never been in hospital before and it was all rather scary. To totally make it even tougher, we had to keep the news from her mother as she was in the process of moving into a nursing home to get more dedicated help with her MS.

I am the type of person that absolutely hates surprises. I like to know what is happening and when, and if I even get a whiff of something, I will usually stop at nothing to get the full story. You can imagine how I was in this situation with Simone. Not knowing what was happening, what the next day would bring and how our lives might be turned upside down from this event. Trying my best to ‘act’ like a man I bottled all my feelings up and made sure that I didn’t let Simone know how shit scared I was. I remember holding her hand in the hospital is she lay on her side to get a lumber puncture. Having had one myself several years earlier I knew what she was going through as I still rate it the single most painful thing I have ever experienced.

The rest of that day was filled with so much stress that I can’t even remember how I got through it. A family friend acting as our solicitor had to draft up a power of attorney for me to sign on Simone’s behalf at the auction that night. He even drove to the hospital on his lunch break so Simone could sign the papers. I had to put on a brave face as no other family or friends knew what was happening. I simply said she wasn’t feeling very well and stayed at home for the auction. As soon as it was sold and the papers were signed, I jumped in the car and headed for the hospital. I remember sitting in one of those old plastic chairs in the share room the Simone had holding her hand whilst we watched of all things the premier episode of House on TV.

A few days later and Simone discharged herself from hospital knowing that it was simply bed rest that she needed. Her business was put on hold as she couldn’t do her shows as a children’s performer with her condition. Things did slowly improve, and the follow up scan basically showed no sign of the legion that was there earlier. We decided not to pursue harsher treatments as they are know to have effect for women hoping to have children. To this day Simone still has the tingling sensations in her had and foot, but to much lesser a degree. Four years later and we have two beautiful kids and couldn’t be happier.

Being a man is not about being macho or leading the charge through every problem that you encounter. It is simply about being human and in the case of relationships, being a friend just as much as being a man and a husband. An experience like these not only test us but they shape us. They shape who we are and influence why we make the decisions we do.

This post has been a little late, and I did promise Gavin Heaton AKA Servant of Chaos that I would put something together for Man Week. After reading the not only his post but those of other local @coffeemornings attendees: Jye Smith, Scott Drummond and Matt Moore, I felt compelled to share.

When I first heard that I was going to be a dad I was in New York. I had just arrived after a 20 hour flight from Sydney to meet my wife who had been traveling on business.Earlier that day she had decided to get a pregnancy test kit from a pharmacy in New York. Not knowing where to look in the store, she approached a very large female African American shop assistant to ask for help. After the woman calmed down from her surprise at meeting an Australian, she promptly shouted across the store- ‘Hey- this Aussie needs a pregnancy test’!!!

After enjoying an amazing holiday, we arrived back in Sydney and I got down to the business of doing what a Man does when he finds out he is going to be a dad- I cried like a little girl. Yeah that’s right- I waited until I had some private time and just had a good cry. I am not sure why, but it just seemed like the thing to do, and brought me back to earth a little for the realisation that being a father was going to be filled with highs and lows.

Simone’s pregnancy was as they say reasonably text book. There was no morning sickness and all the scans were on target for a healthy birth. We decided not to find out the gender as a friend put it- “it’s the only true surprise you will ever get”.

When the big day finally came it was not at all what we expected.

We had done a few courses during the pregnancy and were hoping for as natural a labour as possible. As a man you can try to help as much as possible on the day, but it is just gut wrenching to watch the person you love be in so much pain and know there is nothing you can really do to minimise it, apart from be there for support. Coming up to 18 hours after her waters first broke, they informed us that the best solution would be a Caesar due to the position of the baby and how tired my wife was. This is the part that really tests you as a man, when you realise that now there is even less that you have control over.

15 minutes later we were in the operating room and about another 20 mins and our little boy Liam was born.

As he had been stuck in the birth canal he came out with a real cone shaped head which is very common and disappears within the first few hours. The really scary part was that he wasn’t breathing when he first came out and needed a little help and some oxygen before he was breathing on his own.

With all of the commotion of becoming a father and worrying if I was getting the good shot with the video camera in one hand and digital camera in the other, no one really told me how serious a situation it could have been. Once out of the operating room, I was informed that he would be taken up to special care for observation and some further testing.

This was the point when the hundreds of terrifying thoughts go through your head. You think back to every episode of RPA you have ever seen, every terrible story you have ever heard and all the terrifying scenarios that you came across when you were doing research during the pregnancy. And it all hits you like a tone of bricks.

I remember rushing into the small locker room to change out of the scrubs and back to my cloths so I could get up to the special care unit to be with Liam. Seeing him in that huge trolley (actually just a normal size one) and being so small there was nothing but cables and tubes all around him and nurses telling me it was totally fine and not to worry. Reassuring words for a time when I hardly felt like a man at all. Only hours ago I was watching my wife in incredible pain knowing there was nothing that I could do, and now I was looking at my son not even an hour old and already I was helpless. I was at the mercy of the nurses and pediatrician to tell me what was going on.

The hardest part was watching them place a feeding tube up his nose and down his throat to get some food into him. Simone was still in recovery at this time and they knew that breast feeding could take a few days to kick in.

Later in the day he was showing very good signs of progress and was released from the special care unit and was in our room for the first night. The rest of the week was trying as it is for many new parents, but much more along the normal lines than the first day.

Becoming a father is the single most amazing thing I have ever done (actually done twice). From the dirty nappies to the middle of the night feeds and endless rocking of the bassinet, it’s all worth it when you see their smiles and they first call you dad. When you go into their rooms to check on them before you go to sleep, to hugging them when they hurt themselves, there is nothing that comes even close.

The announcement of an impending pregnancy and the birth itself so often focuses on the mother, that many men think that it will not be as crazy a ride for them. Some prepare for it in different ways (like researching every online review of every pram available) whilst others enjoy putting their head in the proverbial sand. All I can say to other would be dads out there is be ready for an emotional roller coaster for both yourself and your partner, and most of all being a man is often more about doing and feeling unmanly things that you might think.